Marriage in Afikpo, Ebonyi State
Marriage in Afikpo.
Marriage in Afikpo is just like that of every other village in Igbo land.
When a man finds who he wants to marry and they both agree to get married and live together as husband and wife, the marriage planning begins and they will set off with the marriage procedure according to the principle of the land.
It has three, 3 main stages before the actual marriage.
The first stage is when the man goes to declare his intention to the family of the lady he wants to marry. The man goes to the family of the wife to be with a bottle of wine. The name of the wine in Afikpo dialect is "mia nkuma adakwa m" which means "they should not stone me" in English translation.
The essence of this is to register his presence and intention to the family and to tell them that he is interested in their daughter. If the man doesn't do that, according to them, the youth of the village will wait for him and stone him. But once he does that, they will start seeing him as a serious in law.
Second stage is when the man goes to the family of the wife to be in order to collect list of the necessary things he needs to take to his in-laws as requirement according to the Afikpo tradition for the marriage. Without the list and the things stated in the list, there will not be a traditional marriage.
Third stage is paying of bride price, after you might have bought all the things in the list. It may not really be all since some items in the list are negotiable. The negotiation level depends on the kinsmen of the wife to be and the area the man is coming from.
The stages of the marriage rites in Afikpo are:
- FATTENING ROOM (INO NHIHA):
As egbela initiation is an informal manhood training period for the boys, the fattening room is the period the girls usually the first born (Ada) receive their womanhood training.
The fattening room called INO NHIHA in Unwana is usually undertaken by the first daughter in a family on each mother’s side, while subsequent daughters are married off as they are due without the privilege of nhiha. The maiden of a fattening room age starts it on her first menstrual period which indicates her maturity into womanhood. At this time, her mother and other women within the compound starts to educate the girls on the duties of an ideal woman as a house wife and a mother. They are taught how to cook, take care of the husband and the children when they start coming. She will be kept in seclusion within the period. As the maiden begins the fattening room procedure, her head will be shaved clean of hairs. Her mother will slaughter a goat for her called EWU NHIHA UBA, whose skin she will be sitting on to grind cam wood "uhie". A rope called ATULA will be plaited round her waist indicating her reaching puberty. Then EGWO will be soaked in a pot of cam wood (nja uhie), which is used to wrap around her loin as well as OSOTO which she will tie around the waist until the fattening room period is completed, so as to cover her nakedness.
An engaged maiden in a fattening room is entitled to be provided for, by her suitor, with toiletries, kerosene, five tubers of yams and one stick of fish every Eke and Afor market days. Her would be mother in law will provide a jar of cam wood (EKWEKA UHIE) which the maiden will be grinding for her use in the fattening room. The uhie will be her pomade to give her skin a smooth velvet look. The quality and purity of the uhie will be sampled and tested by an experienced elderly woman who will either approve or disapprove its usage. The maiden remains in the fattening room seclusion until her fiancé is ready to undertake all the marital rites.
However, she will go out under the cover of darkness in the night to visit her mother in law and friends in the company of a chaperone. She only grinds uhie and cook food while she does her toilet in doors. The fattening room duration dependents on her fiancé’s capacity to undertake the marital rites.
- NHIHA ULA (THE MARRIAGE PROPER):
During the nhiha period the fiance will perform the marriage rites of wine carrying for both UMUNNA and IKWU. The wine carrying is in sections and stages as follows:
SECTION ONE: a. WINE CARRYING FOR UMUNNA/FATHER-IN-LAW
Stage 1: MPALA EKA
Stage 2: IMARI ULO/NKUMA ADAKWAM
Stage 3:
- NTUYE/IBUMAYI
- Dressing the father in-law
- The cost of three (3) years labour bush cutting, heap making, building of ban/fence etc. paid in cash which is subject to negotiation/consultation between the groom and father-in-law.
SECTION ONE: b. WINE CARRYING FOR IKWU/MOTHER-IN-LAW
The wine carrying for the brides Ikwu is an abridged version and a one- stage-affair of that performed for the Umunna. Also the cost of three (3) years labour is collected after due consultation between the groom and the mother-in-law.
SECTION TWO: IBU ULO
Stage 1: Ibu Ulo/Dressing the mother-in-law.
Stage 2: Ibu Ulo/Dressing the bride.
The complete attire for the bride depends on the taste and choice of the groom.
Posted in Culture | Date:February 25th , 2019 | Comments: 0| Views: 8631
Related Information:
- Ebonyi Business
- Ebonyi Culture
- Ebonyi Education
- Ebonyi Entertainment
- Ebonyi Health
- Ebonyi History
- Ebonyi Politics
Say Something about Marriage in Afikpo, Ebonyi State